Fight For Your Marriage

All couples fight because everyone is imperfect. You can’t put two imperfect people together and have a perfect relationship.

  • Healthy couples fight right. Unhealthy couples fight dirty.
  • Healthy couples fight FOR their marriage, Unhealthy couples fight IN and ABOUT their marriage.
  • Healthy couples fight for resolution. Unhealthy couples fight for personal victory.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19

  1. LISTEN CAREFULLY.

Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. Proverbs 18:2

Mirroring Communication Strategy: Repeat back or rephrase what has just been said for clarification. Then, once you understand what has been said, verbally validate their feelings.

  1. TALK CLEARLY.

Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble. Proverbs 21:23

Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city. Proverbs 16:32

Use the THINK method!

Ask, is it: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind

2 Marital Check-up Questions
  • What are three things I do that bless you?
  • What are three things I could do that would be an even a bigger blessing to you?
Life-Hacks for Constructive Conflict
  • Never call negative names.
  • Never raise your voice.
  • Never get historical.
  • Never say never or always.
  • Never threaten divorce.
  • Never quote your pastor.
3) RESPOND Correctly.

You are responsible for how you respond.

And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27

Unresolved conflict gets worse with time, not better.

4 Signs You’re Losing the Fight
  • Demeaning
  • Disliking
  • Defensiveness
  • Despair
There is Hope!

Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” Matthew 19:26

© Voyagerix | Dreamstime.com – Wedding couple. Bride boxing groom. Conflict.

Cole Phillips

I’m a Connector, linking people with God and with others to experience the kind of life God has planned for them.

I am the founding and Lead Pastor of THE CONNECTION CHURCH in Buda, Texas. I previously served in churches around the state as youth pastor and as pastor before moving to Kyle in the Spring of 2004. I love to lead people to connect with God and those around them and thrive on changed lives. I earned a doctorate in missions and evangelism with an emphasis on church growth. My heart beats for helping people connect with God and connect with others in an authentic community of faith.

I love listening to and making music. I also enjoy hanging out with my family. Pam and I have been married since 1991 and we have two daughters, Makenzie and Bethanie. We are planting our lives in Hays County and allowing God to build a great church through us.