Special thanks to Trey and Jennifer Williams for this week’s incredible message! Great truths with great delivery!
Rules of Engagement for Conflict and Communication
- Be a Grown-Up.
Brothers and sisters, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults. 1 Corinthians 14:20
Most marriage counseling could be settled with two simple words: GROW UP! You must surrender the right to be right. And don’t give the old silent treatment.
- Assume the Best.
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Colossians 3:13a
- Tell the truth
Don’t hide from others, but pray for each other’s faults today. Speak the truth in love with kindness.
Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Ephesians 4:15
There’s a BIG difference between being blunt and being truthful. When you speak your mind, say it with love! You can tell the truth in a nice, respectful, and loving way without beating around the bush. Sarcasm may be funny to you, but it rarely helps to resolve conflict.
- Take a time out
It’s okay to call a time out for a little while if you need to cool off. But be sure to call a “time in” soon after.
Deal with selective hearing. Or just won’t listen. Listening is the act of understanding.The words “Listen” and “Silent” are made from the same letters. That means we need to stop talking and stop thinking about our response and work to really understand what is meant by what is being said.Practice active listening today.
- Eliminate the Escape Hatch
Questions For Discussion
- What rules do you follow when you have a fight or argument? How do the rules change depending on the situation (work vs. marriage, etc.)?
- Share an example of a conflict that was resolved productively. What happened? What difference(s) do you see when compared to a conflict that was not resolved productively?
- Read Colossians 3:13 and Ephesians 4:15. How might these verses help you resolve conflict as it arises?
- What new action(s) can you take next time conflict arises in one of your relationships (marriage, children, work, etc.)?
- Read Mark 10:7-9. What are are some boundaries that you have in place in your marriage that take divorce off the table as an option during conflict (other than for abuse, adultery, or abandonment)?
- If you are not married, what can you do now to ensure that divorce is not an option if you do get married in the future?
- What conflict(s) do you need to resolve using the “rules of engagement” from this message?