Contracts vs. Covenants: The Sacred Bond of Marriage
In our modern world, we’re surrounded by contracts. From gym memberships to cell phone plans, leases to cable TV packages, contracts define many of our relationships and commitments. But what about marriage? Is it just another contract we can opt out of when it no longer suits us?
The sobering statistics paint a grim picture. Every hour, 86 marriages end in divorce. Around 41% of first marriages crumble, with the odds worsening for subsequent unions. The average first marriage lasts just eight years before dissolving. These numbers might make us wonder – is marriage nothing more than a flimsy agreement destined to fail?
But here’s the truth: marriage was never meant to be a mere contract. It’s something far more profound and enduring – a covenant.
The concept of covenant isn’t one we use often today, but it’s central to understanding God’s design for marriage. A covenant is a commitment on steroids – an all-or-nothing, blood bond, life-and-death pledge. Unlike a contract that can be voided when one party fails to keep their end of the bargain, a covenant persists even in the face of human imperfection.
We see this covenant relationship throughout the Bible. God didn’t have a contract with His people; He established covenants. The rainbow after the flood was a sign of God’s covenant with Noah and all creation. With Abraham, God made a dramatic covenant, walking between halved animal carcasses – a symbolic act declaring “May I be torn apart if I break this promise.”
This idea of covenant shaped how God related to His people, and it’s the model He gave us for marriage. In Genesis 2, we see God officiating the first marriage between Adam and Eve. He declares, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” This isn’t a business arrangement; it’s a fusion of two lives into one.
When we shift our perspective from seeing marriage as a breakable contract to viewing it as an unbreakable covenant, it changes everything. Even marriages on life support can be transformed when both partners commit to this covenant mindset.
Interestingly, many of our modern wedding traditions reflect this covenant idea, though we may have forgotten their significance. The bride’s walk down the aisle symbolizes the ancient “walk of death” – dying to her old life and independence to begin a new life united with her husband. The exchange of rings represents an unbroken, eternal commitment. Even the presence of family and friends signifies the public nature of this covenant – it’s not a private agreement but a community-supported bond.
But perhaps most importantly, a strong marriage covenant isn’t just between two people – it’s a three-strand cord with God at the center. As Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” When couples center their relationship on faith and draw closer to God, they inevitably draw closer to each other.
This covenant view of marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church. Just as Jesus initiated a covenant with us through His sacrificial love, husbands and wives are called to love each other sacrificially and unconditionally. 1 Corinthians 13:7 beautifully captures this covenant love: “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
It’s a stark contrast to our culture’s “what’s in it for me?” approach to relationships. Covenant love persists through good times and bad, sickness and health, richer or poorer. It’s not dependent on feelings or circumstances but on a rock-solid commitment to honor God and one’s spouse.
Does this mean marriage is easy? Far from it. Marriage is challenging, but it’s infinitely worthwhile when approached as a covenant. It requires dying to self, putting your spouse’s needs before your own, and relying on God’s strength when your own fails.
For those who have experienced the pain of divorce, it’s crucial to remember that God’s love and plan for you remain. While divorce breaks the picture of Christ’s covenant with the Church, God’s grace is bigger than our failures. He can bring healing, restoration, and new beginnings.
If you’re married, take a moment to reflect. Are you treating your marriage as a fragile contract or a strong covenant? Are you “all in” no matter what, or do you have one foot out the door? Consider renewing your commitment to your spouse and to God, asking for His help to love unconditionally.
For singles, this covenant perspective can shape how you approach dating and future relationships. Seek to build connections founded on faith, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to God’s design for marriage.
Ultimately, the most important covenant isn’t between husband and wife, but between us and God. Jesus established a new covenant through His sacrifice on the cross. He offers forgiveness, new life, and an eternal relationship with God to all who turn from sin and follow Him. Just as a groom waits eagerly for his bride, Jesus is reaching out to you, inviting you into this covenant relationship.
Whether married, single, or somewhere in between, we’re all invited to experience the transformative power of covenant love. It’s a love that never gives up, never loses faith, and endures through every circumstance. In a world of broken promises and disposable commitments, may we embrace the beautiful, unbreakable covenant God offers us and reflect that same love in all our relationships.